Who's your maid of honor? How do you choose?

I ask this question b/c me and my best friend were having a discussion about weddings. We have known each other since the 8th grade and now we are both 24 years old. Like all other best friends we have been through it all...lol...any who, she has a cousin, who is 20 and they became close when her cousin graduated from high school which was I want to say three years ago maybe four. So my best friend feels that she has to pick her cousin to be the maid of honor in her wedding b/c she's her family. I think that has nothing to do with family. I thought that your maid of honor suppose to be you best friend/girlfriend that you grew up with or have been through thick and thin with each other. But she doesnt feel like that and I feel somewhat disappointed b/c I feel like I should be her maid of honor...i dont know if im being fair but thats just how I feel...what do you think? thanks :-)

Who's your maid of honor? How do you choose?
I think people most often choose family members, especially if they're close to one of them. Don't feel hurt if you're not asked to be the maid of honor. Weddings are emotional things that families get very involved in. I think that close friends should be bridesmaids (and often, family are, too), but I do think it's very common for the MoH to be a family member.





I guess I'm lucky that my only sister is my best friend, and I didn't have to choose.
Reply:It can be anyone, of course. But traditionally, you pick a family member. Blood is thicker, you know! She'll still be cousins with that girl in 20 years, but who's to say you will still be talking 5 years from now? I picked my sister to be my MOH and my best friends as my bridal party. That way none of my best friends were offended by me picking one of them as MOH.
Reply:I picked my "bestfriend" and now 6 months before my wedding we are no longer friends, and her and I also have been threw it ALL!!! Friends for 15 years. I will admit I wish I picked my family first.


I know you are hurt but it would be better to stay friends then "break-up" over wedding planning because it dose happen.


And just think you will still be part of the wedding party and EVERYTHING just dont have to pay as much for party planning like the MOH.
Reply:I believe in inviting only those people who are in your daily lives and care about the couple. I would never invite the Aunt that I haven't even spoken to in 6 yrs.





For the wedding party, I agree with you. The best man and made of honor should be people that are very important to the bride and groom, not chosen to avoid a family rift.





This is her wedding so you have to follow along with her choice. Just remember when your wedding comes that you get to do it your way.





Good luck!
Reply:Family,then best friend
Reply:it can be anybody you want to pick,but usually its a sister,then best friend,some people go for family first,if its a sister I would go for family but if you dont have a sister then I would go for bestfriend but you know you are a little greedy,step back and let her chose who she wants,and be there and be happy for her thats a best friend,no matter what always there and supporting her...goodluck
Reply:as far as that goes I have 2 and you can have 2 its your wedding its my sister and bestfriend so go with it...good luck
Reply:Normally it is family first. My sister was my maid of honor, and I was my best friends brides maid, but she chose her sister for her maid of honor. That is the proper wedding etiquette.





If your friend gets married in the future, don't feel upset if she picks a relative over you. You know your place in her heart, and should remember that.
Reply:We decided to avoid anyone being hurt by not having a bridal party at all. I have 2 sisters--how could I pick one over the other? Plus, we're trying to have an informal wedding. Out mothers will sign as our witnesses.
Reply:I had two roommates that I was super close to. I could not decide between the two, so they were both my maids of honor. They shared all of the responsibilities. I only have a brother, but if I had a sis, I probably would have picked her. It really depends on the bride and her personal preference. It is okay for you to feel hurt, but this is her decision and it would be best for you to support her in any way.
Reply:I choose one of my sisters. I was wanting to ask one of my best friends, but I didn't want to have to choose between the 2 of my bestest friends! One friend, I have known longer, but don't get to see too often because she lives away at school. The other friend, we didn't become close until after we graduated but I get to see her all the time, she still lives in the same town. so it was too hard for me to pick between the 2, i didn't want to hurt someones feelings. So I chose my older sister, it just made it easier.
Reply:it can be anyone. traditionally your suppose to pick sisters, cousins or w/e on either side (bride or groom) but if not then yeah i guess it would be your best friend. like in mine i have no real sisters, so my MOH is my bestest friend, and my other bridesmaids are going to be my fiances sister for one and im kinda at a loss for the rest! lol
Reply:i think in some cases ie if you have a sister she should come before a friend (my sisters maid of honour) however i think best friends should come before any extended family!!! if i didnt have a sister that i was close to i would definetely be choosing my best friend, another thing that could be done is a joint best maid that way everyone is happy.
Reply:I think it is traditionally the person that the bride is closest to...although there is no "official" rule in terms of wedding etiquette, I think it is usually a family member that winds up being the maid of honor. However if the bride has no sisters or cousins she is close to, then it's the bride's best friend. In my wedding, I was going to have two maids of honor...my two best friends I have known the longest. However, one couldn't make it to the wedding, so I had one maid of honor and she was my best friend since elementary school. I have no sisters or female family members that I was close enough to for them to be my maid of honor.





Try not to worry about being your best friend's maid of honor. You two are best friends so you will still have a special place in her wedding. Since she is close to her cousin and her cousin is family she may feel that she needs to have her cousin as her maid of honor. Weddings have ruined friendships so try not to be resentful if your best friend doesn't choose you as her maid of honor. You've been best friends for so long...don't let a place in a wedding change that. Hope this helps.
Reply:It can be anyone you chose. There's not a golden rule with family. My daughter is 8 and she's going to be my maid of honor. My sister is playing in a quartet during the procession, etc. And my two best friends will be sitting down watching the whole thing.
Reply:Some girls want family as maid of honor, some don't. None of my bridesmaids are family members. I picked my close girl friends and a close friend of my fiance. It was easy for me to choose a maid of honor, but not easy for me to tell some of the other girls they were not the maid of honor or not a bridesmaid. I had to pick, so I just did it.
Reply:your sister or your cousin
Reply:I have two Maids of Honor because I couldn't choose between my two best friends. One I have been friends with since we were 8 %26amp; the other since 7th grade. There is no way I could have picked just one, not to mention how much it would have hurt the other one's feelings not to have that place of honor. I just felt like they both deserved it.





Many brides choose family members to be their MOH %26amp; if your friend chooses her cousin, don't let it upset you. Being one of her bridesmaids doesn't devalue your friendship or mean that she doesn't love you as much, it just means she chose to have a family member in that place of honor, %26amp; there's nothing wrong with that.





At this point, there's not much you can do. You can't really tell her to have you both as Maids of Honor...she has to make the decision on her own. Just be happy for her, whatever she chooses.
Reply:Tell her you can easily both be maids/matrons of honor.


I picked the person I am closest to, who happens to be my best friend from high school.
Reply:I PICKED MY COUSIN BECAUSE SHES BEEN MY COUSIN AND BEST FRIEND SINCE WE'VE BEEN YOUNG.