My maid of honor is my fiancee sister...?

my maid of honor is my fiancee sister... and she is the one making my bachlorette party , i expected my sister to make me one to or at least help, i asked her the other day and she told me she was NOT making me one at all she , that the moh should be the one doing it, i really expcted my sister to be helpful these past months but the only thing she will be doing is purchasing the cake, i really hurts me i feel as if she is jealous or something she is older than me and never got married thru church and reception thing, and if she were to get married like that before i did i knew i would be helping her lotz...what should i do? i feel like the day of the weding she is going to mess it up , me and her used to get along real well till she got herself a way younger b/f im real sensitive and get offended real quick, i feel like she is going to tell me something the day of the wedding ond screw up my whole day or do someting to piss me off that day helpppp

My maid of honor is my fiancee sister...?
I think you need to grow up and so does your sister. You shouldn't 'expect' your sister to do anything. If you wanted her to help, she should have been your MOH or at least a bridesmaid.
Reply:Well, why didn't you make your sister the maid of Honor? If you wanted to be as close as you say, there was a PERFECT way to do it. She may be offended that you didn't offer her the position. I am pretty sure your soon to be sister-in-law would have understood had you said you wanted your OWN sister to be MoH.
Reply:I'm sorry, but if you and your sister are not close enough to have her as your MOH, then you have no right to be upset that she isn't helping out!!
Reply:You both sound immature. First you want her to make you a party, which is not her obligation as a bridesmaid. Then, you go on to say you feel like she is "going to mess it up" and "screw up your whole day". No wonder she is not jumping up and down for you. I think you have some growing up to do.


If this is par for the course of your relationship with each other, why do you think things are suddenly going to change just because you are getting married? You should try to have a better relationship with her in general, not just because you are getting married and want her to do things for you.


** Ok.. to top it all off, you are mad because she flirted with the same guys you liked. Grow up! And learn how to type.
Reply:Confront your sister and tell her ho you are feeling. Let her know that you feel she doesnt care about your big day and that you expected more from her. Maybe it will change her mind on helping more with your big day. But you need to confrotn her NOW before the wedding day so that whatever the outcome is you can have moved on from it. Dont let something like that bother you on your big day. Let it go on keep preparing for your wedding,
Reply:Maybe she is angry that she isn't the MoH. You should talk to your sister... not us.
Reply:You should not get two bachelorette parties. You're taking this a little too hard. If you are on good terms, why would she sabotage your wedding?
Reply:Fire her and appoint another bridesmaid to m.o.h. Maybe a friend who likes you?
Reply:The Maid of Honor is supposed to do things like the bachelorette party - if you didn't ask your sister to be your MOH, why would you expect your sister to throw the party for you?
Reply:you should just talk to her - um why is your fiancee sister MOH over your own sister? she's probably pissed off about that and I don't blame her - I would be real insulted if my sister did that!
Reply:Hmmmm...I'm not too sure...You could try having a sit down talk with her and explain how you're feeling, and ask how she feels about it...





You said something about, her being with a younger man?





Maybe he has an influence on this...(Been there)...





Maybe just try talking to her. One on one, and see where it goes from there. Sisters are blood, we gotta stick together.





Good luck on the wedding, and everything else.





=)
Reply:Sounds like you both need to grow up a bit. It is true that the MOH typically throws the bachelorette party. So your sister is not entirely wrong. However, it she is acting the way you say she is, she is probably hurt that you didn't ask her to be the MOH. Why don't you try to talk it out? If you can't come to an understanding of each other's feelings, then you have to get your head straight. You can't control your sister or anybody for that matter. You can only control yourself and how you react to things. She can only ruin your day if YOU ALLOW HER TO. You have to decide what's important to repond to and what's not. Even if your sister does say or do something to try to mess up your day, if you ignore it, she will only look bad herself and it will not mess up your day. Don't let it! Be a bigger person and don't react ot petty things. Life's too short for that stuff. Focus on your new husband and your new life you are starting - keep in mind the things that REALLY are important and nothing will ruin your day.
Reply:It is the job of the maid of honor to help you with these things. If you wanted your sister to be the one helping than you should have made her your maid of honor. Get over it.
Reply:TELL SOMEONE ELSE TO HANDLE UR ISSUES IF U R NOT HAPPY WITH HER
Reply:i guess the first thing is that she's probably angry that she is not the maid of honor and your fiancee's sister is.


Is there a reason you did not choose her as MOH? Is she at least in the wedding? This could be another reason for her being upset.


If you feel you can, maybe you should talk to her and explain your feelings.


It really does sound like she's jealous.
Reply:I know it only comes around once in your life, well for most, and it should be your day and you shouldn't have to worry about that kind of stuff. It may be harsh but sit your sister down and talk to her. Ask her whats going on, what she thinks and try to dig a little deeper. Stay calm no yelling and all. Just try to understand, put ur self in her shoes and think from her view. Tell her it hurts you that she doesn't even want to help with the party. See if you can't get to a place to understand each other. Good luck
Reply:Well, your sister is right. One of the MOH's duties is to throw the bachelorette party. If you wanted your sister to do so much for your wedding, you should've asked her to be your MOH.





I take it that the reason you asked your fiance's sister to be you MOH is because you're closer to her than to your actual sister, right? Why do you not want your MOH to throw your bachelorette party? Does your sister have any role(s) in the wedding? If you are, in fact, closer to your sister than your fiance's sister, why did you pick the latter to be your MOH?





(If you could add some details to answer the questions many of your posters, including myself, have asked, it would be very helpful in giving us an understanding of your situation)





EDIT: OK, let me get this straight.... You don't want your sister to be your MOH because of the guys she's dated in the past? To be perfectly blunt, that's a pretty immature reason. This isn't high school anymore. Your sister has no position in your wedding, therefore she has no duties. You can't complain that she's not doing much to help when you haven't included her in anything. You asked her to get the cake and she's getting it. Her job is done as far as she's concerned. I can completely understand where your sister is coming from. Have your MOH plan your bachelorette party and do every other duty that MOHs are traditionally assigned.
Reply:Not to be rude but I would be upset too. Why is she not your MOH? She is right though it is you MOH responsibility to plan your party the bridesmaids can help but they don't have too. If you wanted her to plan it for you she should of been your MOH not your future sister in law.





If you feel that she does not deserve to be your MOH don't expect her to do the MOH job
Reply:nothings wrong with you sister, be happy she is buying you a cake, its not her wedding its your maybe the way you are acting is keeping her away
Reply:shes obviously resentful at the fact that she was not asked to be the maid of honor.





traditionally, it is the moh's job to organize the bach party etc.





you should defintely clear up the feelings your sister is having, you dont want a life long resentment here.





just ask her how she is feeling about everything, let her do all the talking. and try your hardest not to act defensive if she gives you an answer you dont like. try and cooperate with her to make her happy. maybe do something like assign her a task with the planning to make her feel useful.
Reply:just dont cheat
Reply:She didn't get a nice wedding with the pretty centerpieces or little table gifts or rose petals down the altar. She's just giving you crap cause she's jealous she didn't get as special a day as you and will go out of her way to make yours 'how good/bad' hers was. Talk to her once you have backed-up evidence about these problems she causes. Tell her that it's taking the happiness and excitement out of your wedding that you don't have room for people like that at the wedding. Cause if she truly cared about how important this is to you, he wouldn't be doing this.
Reply:Why didnt you have your sis to be the MOH? She is prob Hurt by your decision.


If you were torn by who you were going to choos you could have made them both MOH or just not have MOH


Thats what my frined did at her wedding she stated it was hard to choose since we were all best friends and we alll got together and did her Bachelorette.


I think u are going to have to sit and have a talk with your sister Im pretty sure she will have many Q's about this situation and then have a talk with all your maids


They can all help with this Bachelorette I perrsonally dont think is just the MOH duty I think is the whole bridal Party Duty to Help organize it
Reply:Well, if you are going to follow tradition, which you don't have to, mind you, the maid of honor/matron of honor usually organizes the bridal shower and the batchelorette party-but there are always exceptions...My first marriage was 35 years ago and an aunt, mother to one of my maids-asked if she could host my bridal shower and no one objected. Quite frankly does it really matter who hosts it as long as it is a fun event...


...perhaps Sis thought she be part of the bridal party at the very least and something tells me she fully expected to be your MOH-I'm a little suprised that you chose your fiance's sister over her, dispite your differences-which really shouldn't be differences at all for who she dates is really none of your business unless he's abusive or a felon. I honestly don't feel it's jealousy so much as hurt feelings on her part and I wonder what your sister has done for you to exclude her from the bridal party, especially as a MOH...the sister's fiance would have been happy to be a bride's maid, I do believe...and it's too late to offer her a bride's maid spot for it'll look like appeasement on your part and make the fact that your sister isn't MOH but your fiance's sister instead even more obvious.





...as far as her 'messing up thing' I think you're looking for a diaster to happen so you can do the drama thing...Hon don't look for problems that aren't there...she 's handling the cake, isn't she?





as far as hurt feelingsyou do need to re-examine your part in this and ask yourself if your 'differences' was really justification enough in cutting her out of the bridal party when it shouldn't have been in fact, it could have gone a long way in mending things between the two of you. You've now blown that chance and your reasons are iffy at best....quite frankly I don;t blame her, and you're lucky she's doing what she is doing dispite your hurtfull social slap at her.....weddings are not a time for payback, m'dear.Good Luck





++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++...





well I've just read your details and it's just as I thought.....there was a rivalry between you two as far as dating boys and now you can use your wedding as payback....very unwise m'dear and rather imature..and yes, she DOES deserve to be your MOH, she's your sister...if you are truely in love with your groom then what happened in the past with other boys shouldn't matter anymore unless you've got a lot more growing up to do..which I suggest you do....I feel sorry for the two of you and quite frankly all you deserve from your sister at this point she is already doing....and when your sister does marry, consider yourself lucky if she even invites you -you won;t be in her bridal party I guarentee since the both of you play tit-for tat instad of being adult sisters.....

treatments