RE: What do you do when your almost Daughter step daughter crys her way into being a brides maid..?

Alot of you asked how old this girl is,, She's 23, she and her "wife", yes, I said wife live here with us. He and I have been together 7 years and she hates her "real mom"..





I have 8 days till the wedding and she came to me crying.. Timmed it just right so that her father would be walking in the door from work just about the time we really got into the converstation. We are only having about 30 guests, and it's in Reno, NV on a Monday.. I'm not so upset that she wanted to be in the wedding as I am at the way she went about it. With her father walking in the door, seeing her all water works up and running and me sitting there wondering what the heck to do. Dad just shrugged his shoulders and made his way to the kitchen. What was I to do.. I told her to go buy a dress and she could be the 3rd brides maid.. Now,, I have to find another guy to be in the wedding or she will be walking by herself,, oh and don't forget, we leave THIS SUNDAY and the wedding is the following day

RE: What do you do when your almost Daughter step daughter crys her way into being a brides maid..?
I guess I would do exactly what you did... Go with the flow.


I know you are upset, but for your own sake... try to laugh it off... otherwise it may spoil your day.


Nah, she didn't handle it well.....


But you are.... be proud of your ability to be so flexible.
Reply:I had an odd number of bridesmaids in my wedding. One of my brothers walked down with 2 bridesmaids on his arm... one cousin and one of my best friends. It looked lovely, and no one batted an eye at it. Good luck and blessings on your new marriage.
Reply:I am sorry...she put you in a spot where there could only be one answer.





You better try to get them out of your house because this gal will manipulate your entire life if you don't put your foot down. At her age, she needs a gentle push to be on her own.
Reply:Well, it's a mute point, now, isn't it? You've already told her to go buy a dress and she could be the 3rd bridesmaid. You can't take it back, now, although my sister-in-law kicked me out of her wedding after she had already asked me, so I guess that depends on your husband-to-be how well that would go over. But the gal lives with you, so better consider whether rescinding your offer will cost you in the long run.





You don't get too specific, but from reading between the lines it sounds like this gal is a lesbian with a lesbian lover living with her in the same house as you and your fiance?





You also say that she is "estranged" from her biological mother. Are the two related? Is the mother opposed to her "lifestyle"? If that's the case, the daughter may be manipulating you to get back at her mother for not accepting the fact that she's a lesbian. Being in your wedding sends a very public message to her mother that you DO accept her.





This really should have been a more in-depth conversation. Dad's shrugging his shoulders is typical of most guys - he probably doesn't care one way or the other whether she's in the wedding or not.





But, as I said, you've already caved in, which has sent her the signal that she has power over you, particularly when Daddy's nearby. I'd be far more concerned about your future relationship than the wedding. You've got to stand up to her and do what you think is right, regardless of what she says or how she says it. And you need to discuss things with hubby in the future.





For the time being, I would suggest one of three things:





1. Try to find a guy to be in the wedding, or ask her to find one.





2. Let her "wife" be in the wedding with her, and if your stepdaughter is the "husband" in the relationship, she can wear a tux, or whatever the guys are wearing.





3. Tell her you don't have time to find a guy to walk with her and so she'll have to walk unescorted.





#3 might solve your problem in that she might just say, "forget it."





Bottom line, you've already cooked your own goose, so next time don't be so quick to say "yes", even when you feel pressured. Take control of your life and don't let her manipulate you.





Good luck!
Reply:wow. Tell her only if her "wife" puts on a tux.


Good luck, have a beautiful wedding.





ps, if you buy my husband a ticket to Reno, I'll let you borrow him.
Reply:lesbians? woah. i never heard actually lesbians getting married. just dating :)
Reply:I didnt do anything and Im a brides maid :)
Reply:Get some courage and tell her no. It's your wedding.
Reply:So what if she doesn't have a partner? Her red face not yours. Just go ahead with your plans she will have to make it work as best she can she's unconventional she can handle it. Be polite but stay focused on your day and your wedding.


If she wants anything direct her to her Dad just say "I'm not sure ask your Dad". It's a bit late playing Mommy.


I really hope you don't let her interfere with your beautiful day.


Congratulations I hope you have a marriage of quiet moments to cherish and belly laughs and comfort when you need it.
Reply:She is playing games, I really think she is jealous and wants to spoil the special day.
Reply:Not much you can do except go with the flow. Don't let this one event stop you from enjoying such a special day in your life. If you can't get another guy then she walks alone or one guy will take two ladies. But please don't stress over it. Life is too short and we only get a few truly important moments.





Good luck with your new life!