Why Do Some Women Remain Spinsters/old Maids?

Does anyone have an O.M. or spinster in their family, and if so, why is it they never married.





Do you know of an spinters or O.M.s?

Why Do Some Women Remain Spinsters/old Maids?
Some don't have luck in finding that special someone or they do find that person but it's not reciprocated. It's not always a choice. I should know but I can't be classified a spinister.....yet. :(
Reply:I find it interesting that an unmarried man is an "available bachelor" while an unmarried woman is an "old maid," or some other term that implies she is undesirable without a man.





Some women choose to remain unmarried because they have no need to get married. Some women choose to focus on their careers and do not wish to be bothered with the needs of another adult.





I have several friends, two of whom are physicians, who remain single. One is retired. Both are financially independent. They travel and enjoy life. They both date and have a wide circle of friends. Marriage is not an issue.





Another friend is an unmarried CPA who has adopted two children on her own. She has a rich, full life and is very happy with her family.





Marriage isn't what it's cracked up to be for all people. A woman can have a completely fulfilling life without pairing up with a man.





Trust me.
Reply:I know a woman from my work who is around 35 years old and she is totally in to her job. She is also very bitchy and high strung, and he attitude has caused to her look older than she should (she is the total old maid). I am guessing she is single because no man will really put up with her. For all the rest of them, many may want to be single, not want the commitment and strain of having a husband, and kids. Some just wont settle for less and have too high of ideals in regards to love and the type of man they are wanting, so when they meet someone, they always end up disappointed. Some are probably very lonely, and maybe a bit anti-social so they never get out there and meet any men.
Reply:i think women of past generations either had to pick marriage or a career.
Reply:Serial Monogamy.
Reply:They don't want to get married, or want to and haven't found love. Is it really that complicated?
Reply:Most of the ones I know of are career women, or women who just don't need a man. I know a couple. What I want to know is why people don't more often ask the same question of men, who are by far the most likely to stay unmarried and (to the knowledge of the general public) childless for long periods of time. Women don't always need to marry, but people see this as abnormal while in men people don't think twice about it. Double standard?
Reply:For some, it is religion.








For instance, my religion (Catholicism), says that you shouldn't marry unless you want to have kids. If one didn't want kids, then, there you go.





Some women just like there independence, as well,





Some are just waiting for the right guy.
Reply:My husband's great aunt is an "old maid". She says she never married because she just never felt like she "needed" to. During WW2 she was a "Rosie" and worked long hours in a factory. She says that job taught her how to be independent. She learned how to do a "man's job" and she never wanted to depend on someone else for her health, happiness or stability. She dated men until she was in her 40's and then she just stated one day that since she didn't want a husband, and since people date to find a spouse, she was done dating.


She has never seemed to be unhappy about her decision. She certainly has never come off as being "anti-men" or a "man hater". She was always a very beautiful woman, both inside and out...she still is and she's in her 80's, so there was never a "shortage" of men who would have loved to spend their lives with her. I think, for her, she just never felt like marriage "suited" her.
Reply:some women remain single b/c they just never found the right guy or b/c they hate men idk
Reply:Because some women don't need a man to define themselves.
Reply:First off, the term "spinster" and "old maid" is anachronism..and quite inaccurate with the associated stereotypes of the timid prim librarian, the flannel wearing cocoa drinking romance book reading lonely woman with cat on lap...or even the glamorous or madcap "fabulous Aunt."





It's ok for women not to ever marry...and has been ok for the last 30 or so years.





But to answer your question...





There are lot of reasons why some women don't ever get married...or get remarried if they divorce or become widows.





A few of the reasons?





Dedication to a career or cause. An example of both would be Dian Fossey, who spent most of her life trying to save gorillas in Afica.





Religious vows...and not necessarily just Catholic nuns or consecrated virgins, either. I know of Buddhist "spinsters" too.





Long term caring for parents or other family members...some of these so-called "old maids" may be single parents either as having a baby out of wedlock or adoption. An example of this would be the rock star Ann Wilson of Heart. She's adopted two children, but has yet to marry anyone.





Sometimes pressure against it from parents or other family members...I'v seen some women's relationships get sabotaged like that from possessive relatives and the woman doesn't seem to have the inner strength to fight back.





She might live in a rural area where there aren't many men of marriageable age.





She may be the "other woman" in an extramarital affair. She might wait and wait for the guy to leave the wife, but he doesn't...or by the time he does, he finds someone else. Not as uncommon as one thinks.





She may be put off marriage altogether by some of the negative examples they see out there i.e. friends or parents divorces.





Maybe the woman was engaged to be married and the guy died and she is still grieving (that happened a lot during the 1st World War but it's not uncommon even in modern times. I know of women who were engaged to guys who died in Viet Nam and they never married)





Maybe they were left at the altar ala Miss Havashim from Great Expectations or were abandoned by men once they became pregnant? It happens occasionally...and sometimes those jilted ladies don't get over the heartbreak.





Some may be closeted gay women (esp. in the older generation age 70 plus)





Some may have profound phsyical, emotional or developmental disabilities that curtail their social life...this can range from having down's syndrome to extreme shyness to agoraphobia to being addicted to drugs or alcohol....





which leads to another reason a lot people never consider...





not finding a husband/partnerdue to incarceration/life imprisonment. According to the advocacy group, The Sentencing Project, the number of women in state and federal prisons rose eightfold from 12,300 in 1980 to 107,500 in 2005. Although many of those women are not married. 65% of them are parents of minor children.





Probably the most common reasons why a woman doesn't marry?





BECAUSE THEY DON'TWANT TO.





Why? Well, maybe they like their independence, they're happy with their lives, and they don't see the need to get married. I think if I hadn't married at 19, I would've never married. Indeed, I plan to never re-marry. No desire to.





FTR a lot of MEN never marry for many of these same reasons...
Reply:'Old Maid'. 'Crazy Cat Lady'. 'Spinsters'.....





Wow, what pleasant connotations.





What do they call men who remain unmarried for their lives? Oh, yeah, 'bachelors'.





What's wrong with this picture?





If someone chooses to remain unmarried, so be it. Life is not all about Velcroing yourself to another person just because everyone else does it.
Reply:Gee, I thought that sort of language went out before the term "honkey" did. I didn't get married until I was 40 and didn't have my first child until I was 42. I wasn't going to settle. Further, I don't think the Catholic Church still insists that you need to want children before you want to marry. In fact, someone with whom I grew up married with the agreement that they would not have children. And they haven't.
Reply:because they cant get some
Reply:Some ACTUALLY prefer to be alone--hard to believe but true, i used to think at a young age that i would be one, but i have been married twice and have had some bad relationships, and would have preferred to be alone until i could find a guy that was like me -nice and decent.
Reply:I believe the only reason to marry is for true love. If you haven't found it then don't settle. Settling doesn't work. Heck sometimes true love doesn't work but it does have a better chance.


I know a woman who didn't marry until she was in her seventies. Until that time she hadn't found the right man. She and her husband were happy until she passed away ten years later. He passed away a short time later.
Reply:My Aunt is a spinster. She is in her late fifties and never married, by choice. She has been with quite a few men, but said non worth marrying, and didn't want to give up her freedom.
Reply:either they did not want to get married or they did not find someone they were compatable with. The only one I knew was a nun.
Reply:Because cats are easier to care for and don't nag you for sex.
Reply:No, I don't know of any that I can think of, but in regards to why they are O.M. or spinsters?


I think it could one of many reasons...perhaps they are lesbians and unable to accept or admit it....or they are afraid of commitment, or they had a bad experience with the mail species as a child, teen or adult and are afraid or hate men as a result, they may just not have found the right person, they may be super intelligent and often that threatens men and I can think of more possabilities, but I think these are some of the most plaussible ones. Anyway, why do you ask?
Reply:Usually they are prudes who have no desire for sex and are too selfish to share their life with someone else. Chances are they are also really shy and socially-retarded.
Reply:They never wanted to come out of the closet or men terrified them cause Daddy was inappropriate.......