Protocol for choosing Maid of Honor?

My brother is getting married. His fiancee has two brothers and my brother has two sisters. They have decided to have a family-only wedding party. My brother will have his fiancee's brothers stand up for him - the older one as the best man and the other as a groomsman. His fiancee has asked me to be a bridesmaid and my younger sister to be the Maid of Honor. I am happy for my sister and think it will be very special, but I feel a little slighted because to not choose the older sibling as the Maid of Honor as they did for the Best Man feels to me -- and will probably seem to the wedding guests -- like they don't like me or had a definite reason not to choose me. Am I off base? I want them to do what makes them happy and I am not easily offended, but this one has bothered me.

Protocol for choosing Maid of Honor?
Nothing brings up more problems than weddings and funerals. I wouldn't say you are off base, but I think you are being slightly paranoid. Perhaps she chose your younger sister for a reason that you do not know ... or maybe, just maybe, she simply wanted her to be the maid of honour. It is the bride and groom's day and they are entitled to have whatever they want. As for the wedding guests, I don't think they will notice (or care) as much as you might think ... the family, yourself included, should simply focus on and be happy for the couple. Put your feelings aside and enjoy the day ... besides, as bridesmaid you probably won't have as much work to do as a maid of honour does so less stress! :o) Take care.
Reply:From what you have said, you have every right to feel slighted...they had standards for choosing the best man and did not follow them for the maid of honor. There may have been something else behind their choice of best man that you are unaware of. The best advice anyone can tell you is to just ask them so you do not go through this whole wedding process feeling slighted.
Reply:Sorry, the bride gets to choose her Maid of Honor, not you. You have no right to be offended about something that is completely her choice.





Please don't let your grudge ruin this wedding experience for you. Sometimes people made decisions based on silly logic. Who cares? Let your sister have all the work, and you have all the fun!
Reply:Well, who knows..........but, if they didn't like you I don't think they would have decided to have a family only wedding party...........just go with the flow of things and be happy for your brother.
Reply:Who knows what her thought process is. The maid of honor has certain duties and obligations that not everyone would be thrilled with. Maybe she felt that your sister would be more into all that. Is your sister a little better off financially? The MOH ends up spending more money on the dress, parties, etc. You have to think carefully about who you ask to do it, you don't want to put pressure on anyone by asking someone who's not really up to it, since they might not want to say "no." Weddings bring up a lot of tough decisions. People usually try their best to make it work out for everyone.
Reply:Since this is not your wedding you obviously are going to have to go along with the flow. There are going to be enough people wanting to put in their two cents worth. The fact is in this case, your brother should have picked his best friend as the Best man and your future sister in law should have picked her best friend to be the Maid of Honor. Forget that whole "family only wedding party garbage. Some people may question why you were not chosen as the maid of honor and will not think any less of you, but will only think your future sister in law did you wrong. Should anyone ask you why your little sister in the maid of honor, just tell them they will have to ask your future sister in law, it was her choice...and smile.
Reply:Why are you bothered? This is not about you it is about the bride and the groom. So what if your younger sister is the Maid of Honor. Is she closer to the bride's age? Are they closer than you and she? It still does not matter and I really hope you are going to be mature about the whole thing. IF they had not decided on a family only wedding party you might not have been included in the wedding party at all, nothing says siblings must be included. Be happy for them and stop being so small minded and petty
Reply:Think of it as a blessing in disguise...I am a MOH right now and planning all the parties and crap is killing me mentally and financially. It is a huge responsibility and chances are she just bonded more with your sis, trsut me in a few monthes you will be so glad it's not you.
Reply:sorry...sweetie...but jealousy is a ***** and people hate cuz they want all the glory
Reply:Maybe she is better friends with your little sister. I don't think there is really a protocol. Wedding's are so hectic, that usually they don't think about those kind of things when they ask.
Reply:She should choose the maid of honor as someone she knows very well and it should be her choice not yours or anyone elses. It's her wedding.
Reply:maybe she feels closer to your sister. or maybe your brother feels closer to your sister. don't worry about it.