How should I handle this maid of honor?

I'm getting married in June. I asked my oldest friend to be my maid of honor. I asked my 3 attendants to choose any style dress from David's Bridal in any of 3 colors. I did not give them as much time as I should have to get the dresses (3 months) and I apologized for that, but I that is why I gave them many options. A week later my maid of honor said none of the dresses was acceptable, and she would have to find another salon. She suggested that my other 2 attendants (who haven't complained) change as well, even though I specifically picked David's because we all live in different places. I ended up telling her that it was David's or nothing; now she did get a dress but she mentioned 4 times that it wasn't the best one because she didn't have enough time. This passive-aggressive behavior is the ONLY thing stressing me out about my wedding. I feel like she cares more about how she looks than she cares about me and she is taking my wedding more seriously than I am! What should I do???

How should I handle this maid of honor?
The wedding is about you, meaning its YOUR day. I think what you need to do is limit all the negativity and stress. Sure, you may not have given them heaps of notice, but you gave them choices and in my opinion, enough time.


If she has a problem with it, just ignore her ranting and focus on you! After all, she's not the bride!!


I think the main thing you have to focus on is that


1. Its your wedding


2. Ignore her rants, she'll get over it (and will probably look gorgeous)


3. Explain to her that you value her (obviously as she is your maid of honour) however, this fighting over a dress is causing you much stress and you want your wedding to go smoothly. Tell her that she is beautiful and that you didn't have a choice but to go with Davids, you really appreciate her understanding your decision with this and now you need her to help you with the actual wedding and not focus on the dress!





Hope this helps, congratulations and have a great wedding!
Reply:kick her ***!
Reply:Frankly, tell her to stop ruining your wedding. If she doesn't want to be part of your wedding party, she can stay at home. Tell her you only want friends there who are supportive of your needs and respect you as a person. And follow through. It's your wedding, not hers. Tell her when it's her wedding, she can choose the dresses.





Seriously, if she doesn't like the dress, she can jump in the lake. She has been invited to be a maid of honour. That's a huge honour and an indication of how much respect you have for her. If she can't reciprocate that respect, tell her to bugger off. It's your wedding, not hers.





Best wishes. Oh, and I'm sure everyone will look fantastic anyway.
Reply:Tell her you don't care about the dress. Because, really, it's not that important and it won't (or shouldn't) change the way you enjoy your wedding day or the rest of your life with your new husband.


I have a sister in law/ long time friends who is the same way. Everything has to be so difficult. I just let it roll and don't get too worked up. Every once in a while, I let her know that she's really out of line, but now's not the time to add any stress to the wedding planning. Just enjoy yourself.
Reply:You should have made a date, taken them all to Davids and picked out the dress. You gave too many options and not enough time. Now you must ignore what she is saying so that you do not get stressed.





Of course she is concerned about how she looks, she cares about you but no one is going to care as much about your wedding as you, People have lives and you are not the star of their movie. You cannot stop what she is saying (probably hates the dress but got it to please you) but you can stop allowing it to stress you out. No one can do that without your cooperation.
Reply:Absurd behavior on her part. David's ( although not my fav store) has tons of dresses to fit many different bodies and styles. She is acting like a brat. Simply tell her that she is being rude and you would appreciate it if she dropped the subject. This is your wedding! A curt response from you like that will most likely quiet her.
Reply:roll your eyes behind her back, give her a big mental "whatever," don't involve her anymore, and you can even very sweetly ask her if perhaps she would be more comfortable not being in the wedding, and hope she smiles pretty for the pictures.
Reply:Its your day an tell her so. Explain it's more important thats she is there to support you than what she is wearing.
Reply:Tell her exactly what you said here, that her complaining is the ONLY thing that is stressing you out. Let her know that you wish the timing could be different, but it's not, so lets move on. Tell her that under the circumstances, you feel that you made the best decision for ALL of your attendants (most attendants don't get the option to choose any style in any 3 colors) and also the best decision for YOUR wedding. And that you appreciate it if she would stop complaining, because there's nothing more you can do to accommodate her. Now you need her to accommodate you by giving you some encouragement and support.








But keep in mind: something that Bride's tend to forget about their attendants, is that they want to look their best at the wedding too. Not only will the Bride walk down the aisle in front of 100+ people, but so will they. So understand that she does have a right to worry about how she's going to look. But attendants should understand that this is the reality of accepting to be in a wedding...wearing a dress that they may not have chosen. It's not their wedding and they are not the only attendant.





You have done all you can and should do, it's time for her to play her role as MOH.
Reply:If she's said it 4 times she either feels like you're not listening to her or she is trying to manipulate you. If she mentions it again I'd acknowledge that you've heard her make that point a number of times but you and the other bridesmaids are happy with the dresses so let's just move on with the rest of the wedding. Mention that the wedding is only in a couple of months so you don't want to be stressing over the dresses at this stage when they have already been agreed upon.

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